i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
