Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize