i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
