it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup