I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.