since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
