do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
