Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
