I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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