So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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