Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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