just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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