I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
