im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
