Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
