I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
