Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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