The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
