It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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