at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
