so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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