I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize