Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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