Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
