So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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