just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
