After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
