Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
