I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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