hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Will you blow on my dice?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
