just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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