My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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