Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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