were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
