dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
