that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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