I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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