hell yes lets make some ravioli
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
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did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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