Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
