My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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