Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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