I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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