Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
