is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
do nipples grow back?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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