they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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