3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
