In the future we'll all be gay
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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