i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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