yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
