What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
