if you like me you must not know who I am
I just cut my nipple shaving
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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