Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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