Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
