I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
