there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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