you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
