the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
