apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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