it wasn't lemon gatorade
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
