Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I have post one night stand depression
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