this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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