No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
