Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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